seventeen.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

blah.

these lyrics remind me of my previous shitacular relationship that sucked more than two years out of my life:

"she stands with a well intentioned man/but she can't relax with his hands on the small of her back."

and maybe he would have loved me more, but i certainly didn't love him back.

and on the topic of time traveling in memory, i've been thinking fondly of my friend nikki, how i miss her, and how i (and her) struggle to develop relationships with women. it seems like i have been bitching, complaining (and to some, whining) about how i have no friends. this isn't really entirely true, as i have many lovely acquaintances--but what is lacking in my life is a best friend (sorry mom, sorry jacob). i feel the strong need to have another young female in my life--a female that can binge eat sushi with me, watch really awful movies with in pajamas, talk about politics and the hills with.

nikki was my santasend in the city. she was my co-worker slash work buddy, who became a very important person in my life. she rescued me from my failing relationship and even offered up her apartment to tyler and i. i lived, worked, and hung out with her almost everyday. and then when i moved, i felt a loss--a loss i am still feeling today.

if i cannot find a girlfriend, i would welcome a gay male companion too.